Please read this story carefully, noting the paragraph breaks cause it makes so much more sense that way, and don't miss the message. This is entirely FICTION and is meant to convey a message to all of itz readers, please do not take it seriously. I could have used other characters in place of the ones that I did but I feel as though my message would become less apparent towards the group of people that will be reading this
(that's also what makes it Hanson Fanfic).
That is your disclaimer.

"Him"
Written by Laura Speidell.

Hey Zac,

        It’s me. I picked up the phone yesterday and punched in your number. I heard your voice say "hello." Zac I miss your voice but I can’t talk to you. When I held that receiver in my hand and heard your deep voice, I freaked. I hung up the phone, greeting you with the familar sound of the dial tone. Yes Zac that was me, I’m sorry. Hearing your voice brought back too much pain, too many memories, I just couldn’t take it.
        Tell Dad I miss his heart to heart talks; kiss Zoë for me; tell Mom I love her. Can you please let Jessica know that I didn’t take her CD player? It fell behind her dresser and I couldn’t get it in my rush. Tell Avery that she’s beautiful and let Macky sleep in your room just like he’s always wanted. Zac, I’m sorry it had to end this way, I didn’t want to have to tell you like this. I never wanted to get up and go.
        You hate me. I know you hate me and I forgive you. But why am I forgiving you for hating me? I deserve to be hated. Zac someday I hope you forgive me. Please one day forgive me, I just couldn’t take it anymore. How could He do that to me? How could He be so awful? How can He live with Himself? Does He even care? Is He looking for me like the rest of you are?
        I saw you on television last night, Zachary! You looked so skinny and run down, you all did. Rest will ya? Eat something! Tell Mom that I’m fine, stop worrying!
        I didn’t see Him there with you and the rest of the family.
        The picture of me on the news was flattering but please stop, I do not want to be found.
        There will be no address on this letter and the postmark will be useless in locating me. I will be gone once I seal this envelope.
        Tell Him I hope He is happy. I have the gun in my right jacket pocket. It is freezing on this street. I have slept in doorways of bars for the past two weeks. I haven’t showered since the incident occured. I wander around by foot, praying to be picked up by a car in the rain, hitchhiking only as far as the driver is going. Don’t feel sorry for me Zac. It was my choice to leave home but His fault.
        It is starting to get colder out. A few minutes ago I took the gun out of my pocket and held it to my temple to see how it feels. Zac, it is cold and heavy in my hand but yet it feels so right.
        Tell Him I hope He is happy.
        Tell Him He is the cause of my pain and yours.
        Tell Him I will see Him in Hell.
        Zac, it’s time. Tell Dad that he helped me through the hardest years of my life. Kiss Zoë for me. Tell Mom I love her. Remind Jessica to keep dancing and never let anything get her down. Tell Avery she is beautiful. Let Mack sleep in your room.
        Tell Him I forgive him.
        Tell them all that I love them.
        Zac, I’m sorry.
        The air is cold and heavy just like my .38. Once I seal this envelope and place it in the mailbox your search will be over.
        I am ready to be found.
        Zac I love you.
Sincerely,
Your brother,
Taylor.

*

case report:
Name: Jordan Taylor Hanson
Age: 16
Date and Time of Birth: March 14, 1983; 2:33
Date and Time of Death: December twenty-fifth 1999, 13:01.
Discovered: Los Angeles California.
Cause of Death: suicide; .38 magnum.
Survived by: Clarke, Diana- parents; six siblings: Clarke, Zachary, Jessica, Avery, Joshua, Zoë.
Other: Missing for two weeks, three days. No signs of foul play. Fingerprints on gun his own. Bullet shattered skull, killing victim instantly. Letter confirmed to be of his handwritting received by brother Zachary, death note, confessing to the taking of his life by his own hand.


+ *Him* +