When I came to there was no more brown buildings, grass, or trees. There was white. Just blank whiteness. I blinked my eyes and a face came into focus, first the eyes, then the nose, then the mouth. I recognized who it was.
“Clare,” I said breathlessly, my voice barely above a whisper. I felt as though I hadn’t opened my mouth in years, my throat ached and vibrated with the few sounds I had made.
“Shhhh,” Clare said softly stroking my cheek with her fingers. There were tears falling from her eyes. “Taylor, don’t speak.”
I raised my eyes around the room as she stroked my hair gently, smoothing it over and over again. I took note of my surroundings, the white walls, the railings on the bed I was in, the things on the walls, I was in a hospital. I looked to my wife for an explanation but she just sat at the railing crying and touching me. I reached up my right arm and found her other hand on the railing of the bed. I took her fingers in my own and squeezed them gently. This caused Clare’s tears to fall even faster and come even harder.
“I thought I was going to lose you!” She sobbed finally. Her body shaking with each sob. “I’m sorry!” She mumbled wiping at her tears. I grabbed her hand that was touching her face and took it down from her face. I wiped away her tears with my own fingers, finally leaving my hand on her hair. She leaned her head down and I hugged her as best I could with one arm. I didn’t know exactly what had happened to me in the park but I knew it was bad.
“Where’s Anya?” I asked, ignoring the pain in my throat.
“With Mrs. Johnson.” The Johnsons were our neighbors. “Zoë’s there too.”
Zoë.
I had forgotten to pick up my daughter from school.
“Mr. Johnson went to pick her up,” Clare said, reading my thoughts through my face like she did so well. “Zoë resisted saying that she was supposed to wait for you and she wasn’t going to leave with anyone that wasn’t you. Mr. Johnson told her that I told him to pick her up and she said she wanted to believe him but she wasn’t going to disobey her daddy. Mr. Johnson then called me and I told her to go home with him, I had to tell her that you told Mr. Johnson to pick her up because you had to go to the doctor.”
I smiled slightly at the thought of my daughter giving our neighbor a hard time because she didn’t want to disobey her father. My daughter was aware of my warnings after all.
My smile quickly faded as a slight pain shot through my upper body. There was discomfort on my face and Clare could see it. She called for a nurse who came in and shot a clear liquid into my arm causing the pain to cease. The nurse then left to get the doctor and tell him I was awake.
“Clare? What happened in the park?” I ventured to ask my wife.
She placed her cool hand on my cheek. “It’s your heart,” she told me. “You had a heart attack in the park.”
“I what?”
Clare nodded in confirmation. “A lot of people heard you screaming and when they rushed over you were lying on the ground passed out and not breathing. They called the ambulance and for some miracle, some work of God, one of the people that found you lying there was a doctor. He gave you CPR until the ambulance came and took you here.” Her voice broke and the tears started again. “Taylor, I thought I lost you!”
I struggled to sit up. I grabbed her neck and held her head to my chest. “Shhh,” I soothed, patting her hair. “Shhhh I’m OK. Nothing bad is going to happen to me. I’m all right. I would never leave you, Clare, never ever.” We sat there like that until the doctor came in to check on me. He sat down next to the bedside opposite from Clare and examined the markings on the paper that was keeping track of my heart beats.
"Mr. Hanson, a heart attack at age 27 is a very rare thing,” the doctor said finally. “And plus with your excellent health record, it’s almost unheard of. Is there any record of heart failure in your family history?”
“Not that I know of, no,” I told him.
“Have you ever done any drugs such as crack or speed either recently or in your past?”
“No, never,” I said sternly. “I would never touch the stuff. I don’t even smoke. I drink occasionally but never above my own limit.” I looked up at Clare who was now sitting up straight with her hand in mine tightly. She nodded in agreement.
“Have you been under a lot of stress lately?”
“Yes,” I told him. “I just got home from a three month concert tour with my band and ever since then I haven’t been in control of anything. Everything has built up over the past few months and this week it just decided to burst out.”
The doctor nodded. “I can only imagine. Have you talked to someone about it?”
“I’m in the process of visiting a psychiatrist,” I informed him. My wife gasped as I told my secret. I gripped her hand tighter. “It was just an experiment to see if it would help relieve stress,” I told her. Clare nodded, agreeing with my theory.
“Well Mr. Hanson, your heart rate and blood pressure seem to be back to normal but I’d like to keep you here for a few days just to keep an eye on you.”
I nodded. “It’s for the best,” I told Clare.
“Definitely,” she agreed. “And when you come home you’re going to take it easy.”
I shook my head starting to get worried and nervous about the upcoming week after my release from the hospital. “Clare, you need me to help out around the house. What happens when you get sick?”
“We’ll take it one minute at a time,” she insisted, practically quoting my phsychatriast and not even knowing it. “Just one minute at a time.”